Confessions of Desperate Women
by Dee Lee
Summary: Life can be messy if you're stuck on a island. Especially if you're a pregnant women, a fugitive, a korean women or a self obsessed cow. Diary entries by the four Desperate Women of the Island. Chapter 2: Shannon debates between Boone and Sayid. SBS
1. Today I swallowed a bug

**Confessions of Desperate Women**

**Chapter 1: Today I swallowed a bug**

**Summary: Life can be messy if you're stuck on a island. Especially if you're a pregnant women, a fugitive, a Korean women or a self-obsessed cow. Diary entries (aka confessions) by the four Desperate Women of the Island.**

**Characters: Claire, Kate, Sun, Shannon and the other inhabitants of the island.**

**Rating: T for some language.**

**Setting: This chapter is set after "Homecoming" but before "Outlaws".**

**A/N: Ok, here's a story i was thinking of writing. The first chapter is from the diary of Claire Littleton. I hope you enjoy! Please R&R! Which does not mean Read and Run, but Read and Review.

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Dear Diary,

God I miss Peanut Butter. Charlie gave me some more imaginary peanut butter yesterday. I think he was trying to make me feel better after he killed the guy that kidnapped me. Well, it worked, I feel a lot better now. Don't ask, (well you wouldn't be since you're a diary) it's this strange cute thing that Charlie has that makes me feel better and safer. Sure, Charlie can be a hell of a pain sometimes, hanging on me like a leech, but hey, what guy isn't?

Especially guys like Sawyer. God, I know the whole southern outlaw look is so damn sexy, but heck, he's a real idiot. I can only remember what's happened to me since I returned (plus some bits here and there) but he's already getting on my nerve. How the heck does Kate stand it?

But anyway, I don't really want to get attached to Charlie, but I do. Does that make sense? Considering what happened to my last relationship with Thomas, I get kind of worried now when Charlie hangs around me and is nice to me. One day he might just stomp on my heart and shun me forever. Wow, that sounded really over dramatic.

"Dear Diary, today I swallowed a bug. Love Claire."

"Charlie, that gets old."

"Oh my God! You remembered!"

"No Charlie, you say that every time I write in my diary."

"Oh," he stumbled. "Hey, I'm just trying to lighten the mood." He shrugged innocently.

See? That was an encounter we had when I opened my diary. Extremely cute, but annoying.

More people are talking to me now, probably since a random guy isn't going to kill everyone unless they bring me to him. Even people like Shannon, who is really nice even though she's completely obsessed with herself, are talking to me now.

Hmm, well this morning I woke up and Boone handed me some water before he went to go hunt with that bald guy (Locke?). He's really sweet, and not to mention he's pretty hot. Apparently Boone and Locke had been the ones who had found me in the jungle, and brought me back to camp. I'm glad they found me. I hate to think what that Ethan guy was doing to me.

I also had a conversation with Walt today. He's a really nice kid. He told me that before the plane crash his Mum had died and Michael had shown up out of blue, and was going to take Walt back with him when Walt hadn't even met the guy before. He also said that his mother had prevented Michael from seeing Walt all these years. I feel really sorry for Michael, who's stuck on this island with a son he doesn't even know. Almost as sorry as everyone feels for the "single pregnant woman with no memory".

What else can I say? Oh, yeah. The girls and I have started this "Girl's Only Club". Very original name, don't you think? We are a bit lacking in the creative department when you've been on the island for a whole stinking month.

Well we had our first meeting this morning, and it went something like this:

"You guys at least have a figure; I have this huge ugly bulge."

"Oh, come on! Besides, you'll be mega skinny once you have the baby. I have the worst figure! Thank God the only thing this island is good for is loosing weight."

Sun and I began arguing (Sun divulged to the girls and I that she could speak English, so I sincerely hope no one (especially you, Charlie!) reads this, as we're the only one who knows) when Kate walked through the entrance to Shannon's makeshift tent.

"I've got popcorn!" She said gleefully.

"Whoa! Where did you get that?"

"The bag was in one of the spare suitcases," she said grinning, and passing around the bag. "So I heated it up and viola! You got yourself some instant popcorn!"

We all laughed heartily, and ate the popcorn like girls, who well, hadn't eaten popcorn for a month.

"So, it's time to do our Island awards!" Shannon cried.

"Oh god," Sun moaned.

"Island Awards?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we vote on who we think on the Island should get certain awards," replied Shannon, winking in my direction.

Kate smiled and cleared her throat. "The award for the sexiest guy, goes to…" she did like a little drum roll with her hands on the table.

"Sawyer!" everyone cried at once.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Yep everyone agreed with me on the "so damn sexy" comment. Kate was the only one that wasn't laughing though. She was totally blushing.

"You like Sawyer, don't you?" I asked her, winking slyly.

"No!" She defended quickly, still blushing.

"Or do you like Jack?" Shannon pushed cheekily.

She blushed even harder than before.

"So anyway," I ploughed on, saving Kate from anymore embarrassment. She smiled in my direction as to say "thank you".

"The award for the nicest guy goes to…."

"Jack!" Kate called.

"Charlie!" Shannon giggled.

"Hurley!" Sun yelled.

"Umm…well, on to the next one," I said, not wanting to pick a winner.

"What would be the perfect guy on this island?" Shannon interrupted me. "But, only from aspects of people on this island." She finished mischievously.

There was a moment of silence before Sun burst out,

"Sawyer's voice."

Everyone stared at her.

"What?"

"Well it's just… you're married."

"Hey, a girl can have fun, right?"

The girls nodded, agreeing with both "a girl can have fun" and "Sawyer's voice".

"Sawyer/Boone/Jack/Sayid/Charlie's heads," Kate laughed sheepishly.

"Sawyer/Sayid's body," Shannon smirked.

"And Boone's," I added. "Plus his gorgeous blue eyes."

"Like the ocean!" Kate giggled. "So dreamy."

Now it was Shannon's turn to get embarrassed. She flushed a furious red.

"What?" Sun and I asked her in unison.

"Even if he is your brother, you have to admit he's hot," Kate confessed cleverly.

Shannon looked down at her perfectly manicured toe-nails. God, I'm so jealous of her.

Shan had this weird look on her face, as though she was hiding something.

"Hurley's and Jack's personality," Sun finished the perfect guy. "Jin can be really sweet too, but I guess you guys wouldn't really know."

"It's a bit hard when he talks a different language," I responded. "But this one time he gave me some seafood, like, right after we got here."

Everyone gasped at me, then said in perfect unison, "You remembered!"

I smiled. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Suddenly someone outside cleared their throat and everyone jumped slightly in their seats and turned their heads sharply to see Sayid standing in the doorway to Shannon's makeshift tent.

"Shannon, can I talk to you?" He asked her courtly.

Kate and I collapsed into a fit of giggles. Sun was obviously trying not to laugh, but she had to stay undercover of Sayid knowing she spoke English. Shannon got up and joined Sayid and they left the tent together.

Sun joined in our laughing.

"Guess the meeting's over then," Kate declared, sticking out her tongue and also departing.

I smiled at Sun and skipped off after Kate. OK, maybe I didn't "skip" off. I could hardly skip with a stomach this size. More like a walk with some "leap-like" jumps.

So I returned to my tent, and here I am, writing in this diary. OK, maybe that's not exactly what happened. No one has a perfect memory, but that's basically all that happened today.

Jack's coming towards me. Guess he's coming to check up on me. Gotta go.

Love Claire.


	2. Three's a pain

**Chapter 2: Three's a pain**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or its characters.**

**Characters: Shannon, Boone, Sayid, other inhabitants.**

**A/N: Here's chapter two, sorry it took so long.It's the diary of Shannon. Please review!**

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Dear Diary, 

Argh! One could have never guessed how aggravating ones love life could be when they are stuck on Craphole Island.

I'm pretty sure that Sayid likes me (OK, kind of totally sure), and I am 100 perecent positive Boone does as well. But… I bloody well like them both! I mean, Sayid is like, the only one besides Boone that's even talked to me, or made me feel special by getting me to do something. He's sweet and not to mention he's mega hot. I think it's the whole dark and mysterious look he's got going on.

And then there's Boone. Boone bloody Carlyle. He's been in love with me since I was, like, 13, and I like him as well. His gorgeous eyes are just so… charming, and he's got the whole hero thing going on when he always saves me. His arms are so mucular and he's sooo good looking.

The problem?

Well, what else could the problem be? There are two guys to choose from. The best choice would probably be Sayid. Why? Because Boone is my brother!

Yes, it may sound totally gross but it's true. Well actually, he's my step-brother, so we aren't really related blood-wise. And since my father died, I suppose we aren't even that any more. But everyone here thinks we are brother and sister. I can't think of how terrible it would be if Sayid or any of my friends saw us flirting!

I'm just afraid of what everyone thinks. I've always been afraid of what people think of me. I have to be perfect, not a freak that has sex with her brother. God, that sounds wrong.

Yesterday when the girls and I were have one of our meetings they said something about Boone having gorgeous eyes, and I blushed. I BLUSHED. God, How embarrassing!

Then Kate said, "Even if he is your brother, you have to admit he's hot."

And I blushed even more! My face was like a tomato! I mean, I never let simple things get to me, but I did! Everyone was looking at me strangely. Looking at me as if I was… IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER!

Not that I'm not. Right now, I am slapping my face and punching my hand for writing such an obscene thing. And once again, a person can never get any privacy on this island. People are staring at me! I hate people staring at me unless they are jealous of me or checking me out.

Thank God that Sun (She can speak English!) said something else that drew the conversation away from me and my feelings for my brother.

Anyway, just a few days ago Sayid wanted me to translate a few things that that nutter French women wrote. I realized it was a song from Finding Nemo. And so, being me, I strutted over and sung the song to the guy, and for some reason at that point, I began to like him. The worst part? Boone was watching me flirt with him! So Sayid and I have been hanging around together ever since. And no, it's not just to make Boone jealous, even though that is one of the reasons. Sayid actually does a lot around here. He fixes mechanical stuff, he's in the group that decide what everyone should do (usually Jack, Locke and him), he's nice to everyone (excluding Sawyer and Boone), and he helps with things I don't really understand.

But I noticed that Boone was like, distancing himself from me, which is totally not like him. So I went over to him, and well, our conversation went something like this:

"Boone. Hi. So are you guys just going to keep coming back without any food?" I asked him. God, I'm sick of fruit.

He didn't answer me!

"Hey, I'm serious."

"Uh-huh," he replied, looking away from me and not paying attention.

"What's going on with you, Boone? Could you be acting any weirder?" I mean he always acts weird, but him not talking to me is just plain freaky.

"Shannon, you've been a functioning bulimic since junior high. I thought you'd be excited about dropping a size or two," he finally replied.

I glared at him. Sure, I am cautious about my weight, but hell, I don't want to die!

"Well, since you're not having any luck with hunting maybe you should help Michael. He's building a raft," I smiled, and he looked at me. "I was thinking I would help him out, maybe finally get the hell out of here. Why don't you help me?"

My voice was purposely supposed to be half helpless, half seductive, but it didn't really matter. He payed no attention to the tones of my voice.

"No, thanks," he replied, shrugging and walking away.

What the hell was that all about? A day later, him and his jungle pal Locke come back, with Claire unconscious in their arms! The girl didn't even remember us! Sure, I scarcely talked to her, but no one could easily forget me. So I tried talking with Boone again, and he ignored me!

Well anyway, Boone isn't important anymore.

So Claire, Kate, Sun and I were at this "girl's only" meeting, and we were discussing a bunch of stuff, in which both Sayid and Boone (much to my dismay) came up in a few of their "choices" for best guys on the island. All the girls love lifes seem to be stuffed up too, so thank the Lord it's just not me (but no one has it as bad as me). Kate's in a love triangle with Sawyer and Jack, Claire likes Charlie, but doesn't know if she can trust him because she can't really remember him, and Sun's husband doesn't even know she speaks English!

Suddenly Sayid came through the door asking to talk with me. Naturally I accepted. And he started to talk to me… about Boone! Saying stuff like, "I don't think your brother will allow us together", and "He keeps giving me warnings". I was furious, because Boone always does that! He even _pays_ men to stay away from me! Even Boone wasn't so rich I would have killed him by now.

I stomped away from Sayid, but I couldn't be bothered actually finding Boone, since he was probably getting himself eaten by whatever lurks in the jungle. I accidentally ran into Sawyer, and we ended up having a conversation.

"Hey, Sticks, what's the rush?" He laughed, seeing my 'angry face'.

"None of your business, you pervert!" I cried, a little too rudely.

"Whoa, calm down Sweetheart, I was just being curious."

"Well if you must know, I'm going to find me brother, and tell him to stop telling Sayid that he shouldn't be with me!" I yelled, having no idea why I was actually telling him this.

"Aw, you 'n' Metro fighting _again_?" He said in his slow drawl, emphasizing "again".

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, stomping my feet in the sand.

"Every time you two are together, you seemed to be locked in combat. You two fight like an old married couple." He paused, and smirked. "If I didn't know any better, I would say that by the looks you give each other, you weren't actually related. Perhaps you two are in lov-"

"Good thing you don't know any better," I smirked, cutting across him and walking away.

And that's about it. Here I am, writing in this Diary, still furious at Boone, Sayid, and now Sawyer.

I'll write more soon.

Love Shannon.


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